On Monday, I will turn 50 years old. There are so many people who dread celebrating any birthday or dread turning a certain age. Mostly the reason they feel this way is because they are getting older. I look forward to my birthday and I usually talk about when it is a month or two in advance. I feel blest to get another day, month and year with those I love. I get chances to try new things, enjoy new people and experiences and LIVE! Looking back at my life, there are many reasons why I value that I am going to be 50. I will share them with you.
I treasure the time I get with my two amazing and loving parents and their relatives. My fantastic brother and his wife are awesome. And of course my husband and my wonderful friends.
But when I was 19 – I couldn’t see any of that, all I could see was that I was going to flunk out of college and that my goal of perfectionism was falling short. I did the unthinkable. I didn’t want to let all of those people down – so I attempted to take my own life – I attempted suicide. Now I know that it was due to dealing with depression. Depression is a real and medically treatable illness. On that day I couldn’t see that there was more to my life than those grades. Don’t get me wrong, grades are important. But they are not worth a life. They weren’t worth mine.
I have come to believe that my life being saved – was a miracle and it was saved for a purpose. To let others know that nothing is bad enough that you can’t hold on for another 24 hours. PLEASE talk to someone, a friend, a relative, a therapist, a spiritual advisor, a hotline number, just don’t stay alone in your thoughts. YOU have VALUE. I HAVE VALUE.
You should know that I was raised to know that I have value – my parents are very loving as were my grandparents. No one ever told me that I wasn’t. It was my illness telling me that. I am so grateful to God that I was not successful. Because of this experience, I make sure to tell people that they matter to me and that they have value. But I also tell them that therapy is important, a support system and spiritual life is important.
After having this blog for over a year, I thought I would share part of my journey to being positive. I have been referred to as “Miss Mary Sunshine” before by people. Always so positive. Always so focused on the good. Looking for a silver lining in everything. It’s because I have PERSPECTIVE. I don’t ever want to forget that I am BLEST to have another day on this earth with all the people I love.
Why am I so glad to be turning 50? Because the alternative sucks. I love my LIFE. LIVING it – really LIVING it – takes work, patience, love and a positive attitude. There are so many people who don’t get to live this long. If my suicide attempt had worked, I would have missed 31 years of AMAZING experiences and people. I am grateful to still be here and feel that it is my purpose to share that with others.
DON’T MISS OUT on the Miracles! CELEBRATE every day you get! Be Inspired. Positively Inspired.
PS. Happy Birthday to me!